It's a Saturday morning and I'm tired.
This isn't because I didn't sleep well, and it's not because I was out in London until the early hours of the morning. In fact, last night I had a nice family dinner and went to bed early to catch up on some sleep.
Because I was tired.
My evening Twitter feed was filled with another acid attack in London. The police are searching for two teenage(!) boys who orchestrated the horrific attack affecting five victims in just 90 minutes.
The incidents happened in the borough I work in, and next to the one I call home.
This isn't the first of its kind in London. According to the article I linked above, acid attacks are only on the rise: 458 crimes in 2016 compared to 261 in 2015, with many, many, occurring this year.
While the United Kingdom is attempting to negotiate with Europe, and while Britain is attempting to negotiate with Northern Ireland, it appears that London is trying to negotiate with its citizens.
"No, we're fine. Really." It says, as more buildings burn down.
"We're looking into it," it says, as terrorism rises.
"Enough is enough", it declares after cutting costs for public services.
Just what is going on? How can it come to be that London, England, and the UK are faced with so many new and dangerous attacks?
Threats have always occurred. Danger exists, but my mind can’t help but feel this time it’s different.
Leaving the EU is causing racial and social divisions to sharpen.
Council buildings burning are reminding us that the class system is alive and well.
When I voted Conservative in 2015, I wanted a government to firmly take control and guide the country into a prosperous future. In a shameless gamble within one year, David Cameron allowed us to vote in a referendum that 60% of people regret.
An un-elected Prime Minister took over his role and I trusted her to implement the exit which I did not want. Within one year she gambled her power and lost it. More on that spectacular self-sabotage here.
Two years after my vote and the country seems to be falling apart. How did that happen so quickly? It’s almost admirable how quickly and efficiently one political party has screwed over more and more people, adding to our new reputation as Europe’s losers. They have lost my vote for the foreseeable future.
In between this, if you haven’t already heard, America had elected their new president. Donald Trump shook the political establishment and seems to be walking a thin tightrope with a presidency shadowed by questionable ties to Russian operatives.
So yes, I am tired.
My timelines are filled with anger, frustration, fear, self-righteousness and arrogance.
One day, there will be a GCSE History exam question that asks its students to evaluate all the causes and effects to these decisions we, as electorates, made in 2016. We cannot yet see a light that shines bright enough to guide us to a clear resolution. Until then, I predict, this feeling of tiredness will continue.
I’m going for a nap. Wake me up when another event shakes us.